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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in The Impregnable Headquarters' LiveJournal:

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002
5:56 pm
[kaptain_monako]
Why you cannot stop me
As a communist dictator, I own all and everything. I am the black hole, the space where pysics bends and contorts to my will. The populace, in undending demonstrations of humility and thankfulness, bow before me, erect statues in my honor and pray to my likeness. All favors are directed toward my benevolence, all acts come from my hand. I am beyond God; I have occupied the space left by his absence in the fabric of history.
Thursday, August 29th, 2002
10:22 pm
[buck9]
hey so like what is a nevre center anywahy, is it like the place where all the nerves come to gether or something? i tdon't think i'm very nervy but i'm flattered tyou guys invited my to the nreve center.

i gotta go. exmplain when you get a chance.
Wednesday, August 7th, 2002
7:30 pm
[kaptain_monako]
Pah!
I fully intend to ruin this community.

I will be the ruin of this community.
Tuesday, August 6th, 2002
4:53 pm
[kaptain_monako]
the heard and mcdonald islands are now secure against foreign aggression stop
Thursday, July 4th, 2002
11:34 pm
[zugz]
eye said
EYE SAID, "JADH899 HUUA978Y KASDJKASH8 9HAS78D U7AS78"

IT IS SECRET CODE FOR SOMETHING

SOMETHING

"IOSDHA777 DHUAS999 N766D 78SS CG7S8 S9 J 8 }*}{+{{+/"

AGAIN, IT IS SECRET CODE FOR SOMETHING.

SOMETHING

Current Mood: CAPS
Monday, June 24th, 2002
2:48 pm
[mortalious]
PREPARE TO BE MOCKED, THY MOCKABLE LOUSE!
Unlimited Praise and Glory be to me, I, MORTALIOUS, the Immortal, the True Creator who brought everything from none to existence. Millions of Praises be on me who excelled earthling over all creations and put my stamp over this excellence. Thousands of Salutations on that Holy Personage who was sent as a Mercy for all the worlds, whose blessed advent, cooled down from East to West, from North to South, the flames of polytheism and disbelief with the showers of Oneness of me, I, MORTALIOUS, the Immortal; created a world of spiritual light in the darkness of materialism; whose Pious and Holy gaze rid the man of all those afflictions of ignorance, barbarism, immorality and corruption which were clinging to him. This Perfect Guide and the True Leader, this biggest pedagogue, the Intercessor on the Day of Judgment, art thou Lord and Master. It is I, MORTALIOUS, the Immortal, who transform a beggar into a King; who shows the path to the lost souls, who cleanses the sinful and introduces them to the Divine Presence.

I, MORTALIOUS, the Immortal, will now manicure my cloven toes.

Current Mood: flagitious
Tuesday, June 11th, 2002
10:24 pm
[kaptain_monako]
I am unstoppable. I cannot be stopped. The force of my inertia is such that you cannot halt my advance. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I cannot be stopped.
Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
8:54 am
[buck9]
Re: hey (fwd)
yuck. ah life. some people are born with a silver spoon. i however have sunburn.

not sure what those two things have to do with each other, but the air conditioning is on really cold in the office and i'm a bit tipsy.
Thursday, May 30th, 2002
1:21 pm
[buck9]
Good times
yeah im a drunken bastard..
tonight in an attempt to be more "badass" then the boys i submerged my hand/arm in the keg ice (the deep ice in the big bucket the keg sits in) for a really long time..
while i did tell the guy i was going head to head with that i would "be back when i was drunker" i apparently stayed in many mintues longer than alot of the guys who had tried before i got there..hell yeah! bring it!
Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
1:55 pm
[kaptain_monako]
Power
With great power comes the option to disperse this power. I shall not do this. As the communist dictator of the Heard and McDonald Islands (and former Communist ruler of Vermont), I reign supreme over a barren wasteland that shall remain so, in order to prevent the inevitable downfall of my ruling party (of which I am the sole member). Alliances are unnecessary, unfruitful and quite dangerous. None shall stand in my path. The People's Liveration Army of the Heard and McDonald Islands shall set sail tomorrow morning; global domination is our only goal.
Monday, May 20th, 2002
1:01 pm
[conspiracy_inc]
Hitler was a washed up artist with one testicle and a really dorky mustache. Frankenchicken will put us ahead again!
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road threatens our dominant market position. The chicken is now faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), our enemies have helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

We will now take them down, cluck cluck.

Time to send out the spies:

Chickenmumbatumbo- Chickenmumbatumbo means "Slaughterer of Chickens" in the ancient language. And I assure you, he can defeather a chicken faster than you can say "antidisestablishmentarianism." Chickenmumbatumbo is head of our top secret organization known as CFC (our massive army to investigate all chicken activity). He also makes tea and cucumber sandwiches for nerve_center picnics.

They's yummy.

The CCC (Clu Clucks Clan)- The Clu Clucks Clan is our anti-chicken guerilla group. This is all you need to know. Funding is laundered through WTO bank accounts including: Bill Gates, dengxhinglau, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Viva La Chicken Revolution!

Current Mood: Finger Licking Good
Tuesday, May 14th, 2002
11:12 am
[captn_obvious]
Hey there! I'm Captain Obvious!

I just joined this community!

Consider this to be an entry in said aforementioned community!

Current Mood: quixotic
12:46 pm
[mortalious]
Toorah, Tooray - Doom Begineth Today.
Tis not enough to gouge out their eyes with fiery pokers, I will urinate in their orifices to make them see the light.

And all was good - eating.

Amensch.

Current Mood: Fucked and Fuck You Fucker, I'm Delicious
Monday, May 13th, 2002
10:35 am
[buck9]
the details of my life are inconsiquncial my father was a realentlessly self-improving bologiouse owner from belgum with low-grade narkolepracy and a pension for buggerie my mother was a 15-year-old french prositute named cloey with webbed feet my father would womanize he would drink he would make outragious claims like he invented the question mark sometimes he would acuse chess-nuts of being lazy the sort of general malyoinaise that only the genious possess and the insane lamenent my childhood was typical summers in raguun looge lessons in the spring we'd make meat helmets when i was insolint i was placed in a burrlap bag and beaten with reads pretty standard really

haha right on man!!!!
10:42 pm
[kaptain_monako]
An offer
I, Kaptain Monako, the former Communit dictator of Vermont, have an offer to make. Anyone who can bring me the head of my evil, monotesticled half-twin brother, Captain Monaco, shall receive a reward in the sum of zero US dollars.
Saturday, May 11th, 2002
11:31 am
[sa_voran]
Wrath and bombast, blood and semen. We are here. We are gathered. This world meets its maker now, and its maker is the Nerve Center. Ho drakon, ho megas.

Current Mood: Dominating
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